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**Welcome to the Online Behavior Forum.** Pose questions, respond to others, or share your own experiences.

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Please take a moment to <span style="background-color: transparent !important; background-position: initial initial !important; background-repeat: initial initial !important; border: none !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: 'Lucida Console',Monaco,monospace !important; font-size: 17px !important; font-style: normal !important; font-variant: normal !important; font-weight: normal !important; height: auto !important; line-height: 25px !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-decoration: underline !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important;"> our parent survey

What experiences have you had with cyberbullying?

How can we best protect our children from cyberbullying ?

How can we supervise our children's Internet activities?

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//When my oldest child starting going online, we used aol, where we could limit his time online and track all the sites he visited. Several years later, though, that just was not working with the youngest one, as kids now are too aware of how to simply set up their own usernames on different browsers! Instead we are using slife, which tracks online movements. It does not filter or restrict, but it provides <span style="background-color: transparent !important; background-position: initial initial !important; background-repeat: initial initial !important; border: none !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: 'Comic Sans MS',cursive !important; font-size: 14px !important; font-style: italic !important; font-variant: normal !important; font-weight: normal !important; height: auto !important; line-height: 21px !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-decoration: underline !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important;"> info about what sites she has been on and how much time was spent. Now she knows I am aware of what she's doing and we can talk about any concerns that come up.//
 * Good idea! Here is a link for [|slife]. It is now free for Macs.**

I  have a junior high girl who recently entered 7th grade. Many of her friends go on Facebook and My Space to converse with cell phones and computers. She began asking me if she could have her own Facebook account. Instead of quickly giving in to her repeated requests, I did some research on My Facebook and My Space. I found that these programs were initially created for college age students or young adults. Then I began looking at some of her friends accounts. I was surprised with the amount of graphic language that they used and I wasn't too thrilled with the way the talked about other kids who they weren't friends with. My answer to my daughter was "not yet" because I felt that she was too young for this kind of program. Later that semester my daughter had a disagreement with one of her friends. The disagreement got blown out of proportion and the girls stopped talking to each other and seeing each other. This falling out separated the group of friends my daughter hangs out with. Suddenly my daughter found herself alone in school. To top it off we found out that my daughter was being discussed and lied about on the former friends Facebook page. Things did blow over and she has been able to regroup with most of her friends. I am glad that I did not allow her to have her own Facebook page because I know that she would've battled this fight on-line instead of steering clear of her in the neighborhood and in school. My advice is to be careful about letting young teenagers have <span style="background-color: transparent !important; background-position: initial initial !important; background-repeat: initial initial !important; border: none !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif !important; font-size: 13px !important; font-style: normal !important; font-variant: normal !important; font-weight: normal !important; height: auto !important; line-height: 19px !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-decoration: underline !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important;"> control and access to accounts where they might not have the maturity to handle what could be thrown at them.

Thanks for sharing! This is a good example of how teens' immaturity is given too much power with online communications. Another option you might <span style="background-color: transparent !important; background-position: initial initial !important; background-repeat: initial initial !important; border: none !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: Tahoma,Geneva,sans-serif !important; font-size: 13px !important; font-style: normal !important; font-variant: normal !important; font-weight: normal !important; height: auto !important; line-height: 19px !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-decoration: underline !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important;"> at is **ning**. Through ning, you can set up a restricted network with the chat, the wall, the forums, posting pics, etc., but it will ONLY be open to those who have been invited. My own child is starting a high school with a freshman class of two dozen; many of those kids are not permitted on facebook for reasons you have described. But most were allowed to join a ning page she initiated. Now the page allows them to collaborate on school work and to socially touch base, but ALL of them know each other and she as "administrator" can even remove chat that is inappropriate. She has not done that so far, but has removed "old" chat so if it does come up as an issue it can be part of regular housecleaning, and not seem like a conflict. **For more about ning, look[| here.]**

Sometimes I hear stories that are so shocking. Today my son told me about a girl who sent a picture of herself to her boyfriend. The boyfriend sent the picture to the exboyfriend. He sent the picture to a myriad of other friends who seemed to think that it was ok to keep forwarding this picture. One teenager then sent the picture to her parents. Both parents went to the school about the situation. Do most students realize that this is an illegal act? It is illegal to take pictures of yourself in the nude or even parts of your body and forward them to others. Those that then pass on the pictures can also be prosecuted. It saddens me that many teens don't see anything wrong with what they're doing. Click, it's done with little or no thought. Recently I saw the first advertisement for cyber issues. The movie advertisement encouraged students to think before they send. Apparently the message needs to be heard.

The article referenced on the cyberharassment page includes comments by a sociologist, who provided the statistics on the prevalence of this behavior. Other facts mentioned included the frequency of forwarding such content, which is far more common among boys than girls - but both genders do this to some extent. <span style="background-color: transparent !important; background-position: initial initial !important; background-repeat: initial initial !important; border: none !important; display: inline !important; float: none !important; font-family: arial,helvetica,sans-serif !important; font-size: 13px !important; font-style: normal !important; font-variant: normal !important; font-weight: normal !important; height: auto !important; line-height: 19px !important; margin: 0px !important; min-height: 0px !important; min-width: 0px !important; padding: 0px !important; text-decoration: underline !important; vertical-align: baseline !important; width: auto !important;"> real concern for parents and teachers is that young people who initiate and/or forward such images simply do not see it as a serious act; they see no consequences anticipated, in the near or distant future. What about college applications, NHS, future employers ...?

I never thought I'd ever be cyberbullied. It was never something I ever worried about. Why should I? My friends would never do that to me. But then my friend and I got caught in a horrible situation where somebody pretended to be her on AIM and starting being a jerk to me. The impersonator called me lots of things and told me to stop talking to her. I was convinced that my friend had turned into a jerk over the night! I got so many mean IMs, I wanted to cry every time I logged on! Then my friend found out what was happening and realized that she was in a situation, too. She called me to tell me it wasn't her IMing me like that and that she was scared, too. The cyberbully IMed me again saying sorry, but we never found out who it had been. My friend and I have always been careful online since then, and I've been a lot more aware of who I talk to. It wasn't a horrible situation, but I was freaked out. Watch out-no matter how old you are, you CAN get cyberbullied.

Weeeeeeeeeee

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